Maki: Eh sa wala akong magustuhang iba...

Nico: (laughing) Wala kasi syang choice, hahaha

=)

2 years and counting na silang together...

~~~

Joy to Maki: Ang tawag ko na sayo ay Jack.

Maki: Bakit? bakit nga?

Joy to Maki pagkatapos tawagin si Nico: Jackpot ^^p

(credit of the punchline goes to coach trina ^^ )

Something to look forward to in the cinemas...

=)

http://starcinema.multiply.com/video/item/351/I_LOVE_YOU_GOODBYE_OFFICIAL_FULL_TRAILER

Im planning to buy a new desktop pc... Yep, this xmas ü la lng. Nkakafrustrate kc n mg-internet or what not on my old desktop n nemo is not meant 4 hi-end pc/internet use.. Ang nakakainis p wt nemo ay wala syang backspace/delete keyboard function dahil nasira or something. Basta hindi sya gumagana...

Hay, sadness..

Anyhow, e2, blogging using my phone as sister is hogging d dsl ulit.. Ü



Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

Hay...

The real Joy is temperemental...
She has a really, really bad temper...
But like any other Cullen, she tries to tamper her instincts...

And so the only people who can unleash the real her
is her mother and well, =) her...

...

I have never gotten so angry with anyone, aside from mom and her...

Most of the time, I do not understand them...
It takes some time for me to realize what they were trying to communicate to me, in the first place...
And I so wish,
I could be,
A better man...

*sigh*

I feel like a canned tuna.

>_<

Mom had the room painted and so everything was moved and all that
and i wasn't able to decently blog for like so and so days...

and its not healthy for me.

Plus the fact that I had to delete certain posts in this blog coz i was accused of insinuating such and such

*rolls eyes*

Sobrang gusto ko syang idiscuss dito, or whatnot, pero my senses are telling me otherwise..

*sigh*

>.>

._.

sigh.

Ayoko na ngang pagusapan baka imay-quote nanaman ako ng kung anu anong article chenelin.

^^D

pardon the grumpy.

...

though seriously...

*rolls eyes*

But, yeah, they have a point...
so just to clean things up, I just deleted what i posted.

Tolerant me...

*sigh*

I guess i am now a "resposible blogger"

*snorts*

=(

~~~

I was able to finally restore some of my "belongings" into its proper place,
but if you ask me,
the newly painted walls are imposing...
I feel nauseuos (how do you spell this?) about it...

Yet and again, i am reminded how i am just a tenant in this house and it belongs to my mom.
*rolls eyes*

~~~

I'm planning to start Project Alpha ^^D

first, the space...
then, the furnishings ^^D

Yep.. planning to move out and all... but, it requires careful planning and what not, so there...

But, if you ask me, i have found the perfect nook, just the perfect building or what not.

Hmn...

its really going to be such a long term plan thing if you ask me...

Things that I really really, really like takes eons to get, but i get them anyway =)

I remember the days when i was just drooling over laptops in sm cyberzone when i was in college
and now, i have a netbook and was able to get my sister a really decent laptop...

*sigh*

I just need space, really...

A place to call my own =)

though, the drawback is,
I don't really want to live alone
so, there are times when I'm just a happy little puppy and all or what not

but then, when my mother starts to smother and rule my precious little world,
I plan for the easy escape...

*sigh*

=)

hindi na nga sumusunod ng maayos yung desktop pc ko eh, darn.

~~~

Sa ninja academy naman,
mm, hayun, we're being marinated in the training room, lol

*sigh*

I'm just so adjusting, if you ask me...

But I'm so happy that ur essence if there to keep me sane... =)

If I am Henry in The Time Traveller's Wife,
I think I've met our very own Alba ^^D

=)

It's really very interesting, if you ask me...

My daughter, teaching his daddy... =)

~~~

AT KUNG PWEDE LANG,
whoever is going to read this,
get a life of your own than try to tell me what i need to do.

This is a blog, and if you don't know what it means,
it means its a place in cyberspace where people put up their angst or what not
and I am human too, who needs a form of release...

judge me all you want, but don't tell me what to do...
Napakadaming etchiosera sa mundo,
so please,
get a life people...

Sabi ko nga,

Since when did people started paying attention to what i have to say?

...

Tao lang po,
nagkataon lang na hindi ko sinasabi sa ibang tao yung thoughts ko
and nagkataon lang na you can read it in black and white,
but the bottom line is?
Look behind your back,
people tell other people what they think of you...
I just so happen to put my thoughts in writing...

*sigh*


=)

I just hate people who tell me what i should think or feel...
Nagkataon lang na i get to be honest about them
when I access this page...

=)

and nagkataon lang din that i would like to be heard...
and the thought that other people may hear me out by reading this is enough...

*sigh*

Yeah, pathetic me... =)

I miss blogging.

But maybe, lately, I have been expressing the thoughts in my head
and i have been making contact, or what not in real life
na wala na me maisulat dito.

Or maybe, its the lack of time, or what not...

*sigh*

Where do begin?...

"Why do people treat the people who love them as shit?"
Harry asked.

"People take those who love them for granted."
Draco replied.

"Whatever happened to common courtesy?"
Harry asked. "Sometimes I just want to send them back to first grade to make them learn manners."

Draco chuckled.

"Well, in between first grade and the time they get to love another person, they long realized that manipulation, mind games and what not works faster and better."

"Whatever happened to asking?"

"People are afraid to get rejected."
Draco pinched Harry's nose.
"Even if its the most courageous and noble thing to do."

"But, you asked me to marry you, right?"
Harry pointed this out with his fork.

Draco looked down at his coffee and smiled.
"And that was the time, I started to become a better man."

Shuichi was forking thru his omelet one morning
while Eiri was silently sipping his coffee as he read the paper.

Shuichi put down the fork and asked,

"Yuki? Do you love me?"

Eiri almost choked on his coffee and said,
"Of course I do, you baka."

Shuichi looked away at the window and asked,
"Then why do you treat me this way?
I don't deserve this..."

Eiri just simply looked at Shuichi.

Here's a sweet truth:
Someday,
Somebody
will come along
and you'll realize
why it never
worked out
with anyone else...

~Joyce.Trainer.Project F1

Napakaselfish,
Napaka-self righteous.
Napakatanga ko.

And you know what's funny?
At the end of the day,
I would still conclude that its my fault.

My mom doesn't care
Shobe doesn't care.
I wonder why I even care at all!

I'm just so friggin mad and fuming right now
I can't even move a muscle.

And at the end of the day,
I still end up alone.

Why bother? I ask.
Why even bother?
Why do I even care when at the end of the day,
nobody cares naman?

Nobody cares whether you've been waiting for more than 5 solid hours.
Nobody cares that you're so upset you want to scream on top of your lungs.
All people care is about themselves.
Why do I even care????

Why???

Why.

Whatever happened to common courtesy?
Whatever happened to honesty?
Whatever happened to love?

I'm so at a loss right now
and I'm so pissed.
I just snapped.

WHY
DO
I
EVEN
CARE?

WHY?

At the end of the day,
I'm alone,
with no one to talk to.
Why even bother?
Why even make a difference?

WHY?

It's all goddamned selfish.
It's all goddamned hurting.
It's so goddamned irresponsible.

How difficult it is to text someone who is waiting for 5 solid hours where the hell they are?

HOW?

How diffucult it is to understand mother, that I need my personal space and you need to respect that.

How difficult it is, for people to be a little giving?
How difficult it is for people to be mature?

HOW
FRIGGIN
DIFFICULT
IT
IS
FOR
PEOPLE
TO
BE
HUMANE????

HOW???

Why do I even care?

I feel soggy.
Yes, like the french fries XD

hay...

But then, you can tell na its not a good feeling,
but well, now that i'm upright, medyo getting, feeling better.

Ok naman ang first day of official training.
Just learned my ninja academy rule#1: always look after ur back.

Nothing, just a thought.

*sigh*

Maybe I should just stop with this ninja drama altogether, but anyways, let see...

*sigh*

*goes out for a glass of milk to calm my insides =S*

*sigh*

hmn... i guess i woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something...

ggggggggg....

Hay....

I pray Shobs, that you truly find the job that you are looking for =)
so that, everybody happy... =)

~~~

*sigh*...

and so the question pops into my head: Am I happy?

...

Hmn... I dunno...
I guess all this ninja drama is getting into my nerves or what not...
Or, maybe i am channeling another person's point of view of it
that i need to establish my own...

I do not want to be consumed by this self serving kind of drama, or what not...
There's gotta be more to it, than what i have just initially brought.

I really really pray na whatever happens,
I will not lose the humanity that I always pride myself in
even if i need to complete goals and perform...

possible naman siguro yun =)

to maintain having ur heart on your sleeve and believe in goodness...

I know, I can be such an animal
and I know this side of me that I have rebuked a long time ago....
and now, maybe, it gets a little prodding to realize where all this is coming from or what not...

the road to self discovery... =)

*sigh*

*head desk*

Me wanna bang me head on the wall
but then again, i'm afraid i actually have a helmet, so kamusta naman di ba?
(Basha?)

Gustong gusto ko ng magmove on
but i still keep on coming back to you...
like gravity or something

*tries to bang her head on the wall again*

Cmon bash, alam naman natin na wala itong patutunguhan db?
May boyfriend ka and saksi ako kung gaano mu kamahal yung bf mu
and I'm just a 3rd wheel running loose and

*head desk*

but i can't help falling in love with you,
ika nga ni Elvis Presley, lol.

*rummages around*

I need something to do.
I need a distraction

esa:
alagaan mong mabuti puso mo joy.
never give up on loving.
may be you have to move on in a way give up on the person
but not on loving and the magic that goes with it

me:
tama =) wag mapagod magmahal...

esa:
yup. pag pray mo rin ung the one  at darating sya for sure.

me:
sana magdilang angel ka es ^_^

sana nga, i find the one
hehehe

esa:
mahahanap mo rin sya pag di mo sya hinanap.

me:
=) honga nu
wag pilitin
hay...

esa:
correct!

You wake up one day
after being soo happy for after such a long time
and you realize that the world you live in
isn't exactly as perfect as you think it is.
The things that you easily take for granted as peaceful and well
actually is more because you just prefer to see the better things in life
you become a basin for them
and then you meet someone and feel alive and all...
you become human
and then you realize that
things are not as perfect as you think you did at home...

=)

I found a quote in my friend's page and it goes like:

We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.

*sigh*

and it occurs to you how happy this person makes you
and how everybody hates her coz they want your love, your attention
and naiinggit sila with what you share with her...
that the whole world doesn't approve of it, at all
coz they're jealous and they're only there when that same person who makes you happy that nobody can possibly imagine
hurts you and all that they look upon is the hurt that was inflicted
that they totally neglect how much this person means to you and all...

Cmon, as if people didn't hurt other people...

and maybe they wouldn't really understand how much you love this person
and all
and sana when they give out their advise,
they realize that...

hey, this person who hurts you is the same person that gives meaning to your life
that this person is the one you want to be with
no matter how convoluted things may become...

Its tough sometimes that you don't have anyone who can be happy for the two of you...

That at the end of the day,
no matter how much hurt was pilled up
even unintentionally
at the end of the day, wounds do heal and...
you just end up realizing that even if you truly love this person,
what you share is something so beautiful and wonderful
even if it breaks your heart to see her with another...

That with her, you feel happiest...

Self serving the post maybe
pero, aminin naman natin kung gaano ako k-choosy
how much i decide on sharing myself with other people
and...
we just bond and click and...
*sigh*

Its just all too complicated...

"Gusto ko ng magmahal ng iba,
Pero paano ko gagawin yun
kung sa puso ko,
buhay na buhay ka pa."
~ Lara, And I Love You So

I'm so tired.
No matter what I do, I will always come in second.
Lagi nalang akong talo.
~ Chris, And I Love You So

~~~

Chris:
You're the worst possible girl to love
But I love you,
kahit na mahal mo parin si Oliver

I don't want to be second place in your heart
coz ur first place in mine

Lara:
Ayokong isipin mo na pumapangalawa ka lang kay Oliver,
Na pamalit ka lang sa kanya
Gusto kitang bigyan ng puwang dito sa puso ko
na sayong sayo lang...

Pero ayokong maging tayo dahil,
dahil lang naibibigay mo yung kaligayahang
kailangan ko ngayon.

...

Gusto kong mahalin ka ng buong buo
But my heart is broken right now
...

Gusto kong isipin na tama to
kung tama talaga tayo
May tamang panahon para sating dalawa.

So, I got to eat the last piece I had on the sweet
and the ff is my musing about it:

The person who made it was crying while she was making it.
It was full of love as it was full of pain.
But she chooses to bank on the sweeter part of life, thus making it still delicious..
There is longing, a need is not a desire to appease, to delight,
whoever was wanting to eat it...

It was full of love nonetheless.
and it breaks my heart.

now what?

._.

*sigh*

...

I'm just ur friend, right?
and you already know that this friend of yours is in love with you.
and this friend of yours has a history with you.
and right now, I'm the friend who has been receiving the busted end when ur mad or things go wrong.
i say one thing, and it gets blown into my face
and thankfully i was able to remind myself that i'm just a friend..
But it doesn't change the fact that i get hit big time when you say things to me about ur current love
and my heart gets crushed why we didn't work out. Why it got all messed up.

It hurts that ur trying to work out ur relationship with ur boyfriend,
a situation similar to ours a year ago
and it hurts that ur trying to work it out with him today
and it makes me wonder why ours didn't a year ago.

Doesn't that make sense?

Oh, right, you didn't want to be with me back then
Yeah, I forgot.

...

The friend in me is happy for you, of course.
But you're not just my friend.
I'm in love with you.
Mahirap bang intindihin yun?

I love you that much that i am willing to be the best friend in the chick flick.

But sometimes it hurts too much
and it makes me wonder why I even stick around...

Oh, yes, I forgot, coz i love you and i really enjoy being around you
and I really love your company and all that
and more than anything else,
I love you and i am willing to love the people that you love...

But i just can't.

Though i did try.

I try to tell you things that a friend would
because I want you to get the best out of anything you do
and i get hit big time, downright hit big time.

*sigh*

Cge nga, what if in this new job of mine i find someone to love?
Can we actually still continue to be friends?
Can i actually call you up?
What if the situation was reversed?
Do you honestly expect me to believe that it's just alright for you for me to gush about someone else?

Cmon, i'm not stupid nor dense.

What if I fall in love with someone else?
Have you thought of that?

...

*sigh*

I really, genuinely want to be friends for you
but there's just this minor thing called , I still love you that gets in the way...

And what, it's my fault na i'm in love with you?

Well, its ok, coz i have now finally accepted that I am just your friend.

But I can no longer be the best friend in the chick flick.
Not anymore...

I'm now the best friend who is in love with the main character who is in love with someone else.

Ako lang naman ang nagpapaconfuse sa sarili ko...
At ang masakit dun, yun na nga eh, confused ako...
Confused na nga ako and marerealize mo pa na ikaw lang din naman ang nanggugulo sa utak m...
Gaano nga naman ito kagulo diba?
Ang gulo ko rin di ba?

Though I know,
in the midst of confusion,
I will be found.

Maniwala nalang tayo sa goodness =)
Amen.

"This much?"

"Yes, this much."

=)

^_^

it's just funny, don't you think?
How people have certain impressions of other people and all that
and who you end up with spending time at the end of the day...
^_^

its just really utterly funny if you ask me...

How, a name brings out a different point of view for you
and another, for other people...

It's so nice to look back and reminisce how long you've gone far with a certain, friendship, safe to say...

And when you look back to all those moments,
you wonder how you have possibly lived
but you did
and then you smile
coz, with the now,
you have so much more...
=)

and the best thing about today,
is that you have each other ^_^